Clarity of Intention: Lifting the Fog

The answer to the question of what we want to achieve from life is as clear as crystal for some and as clear as mud for others!

Why is this? 

And how can life coaches help those who fall into the camp of the confused and directionless?

In this episode, Bill explores this fascinating subject … with just a little inspiration from Alice in Wonderland!

Transcript

Clarity of Intention: Lifting the Fog


The starting point for any effective life coaching engagement is clarity of intention.

Our Trainee Life Coaches follow a process that aims to help develop a clear mutual understanding of what their clients want to accomplish.

But what happens when a client, who is questioned about what they want from life, responds with a blank stare and words along the lines of:

 “I haven’t a clue!”

Thrown off track

This happens quite frequently nowadays, and can throw an inexperienced coach off track if they are not properly prepared.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where–” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“-so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.
“Oh, you’re sure to do that,” said the Cat, “if you only walk long enough.”

This is an extract from Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, where Alice strikes up a conversation with the Cheshire Cat.

The message inherent in it would seem particularly pertinent to this discussion.

Clear as crystal, or mud?

Life coaches are specially trained to help their clients crystallise their goals and dreams and then devise a plan of action to go after them.

Some clients present with a well-developed idea of what they want to achieve and just need help getting there.

Others hold a vision that is far more vague and need tools to sharpen their focus and drive their actions.

Still others have allowed a problem or problems to distract their focus and need help to uncover the opportunity that their problems are masking.

And then there are those who are lost in a fog of confusion that has descended to rob them of any sense of direction and purpose.

In my experience, the number of people who fall into this last category is surprisingly large, and growing.

A feeling of powerlessness

In the majority of cases, this unfortunate condition has nothing to do with a lack of ambition, a poor attitude, or a brain resembling emmental cheese!

It has everything to do with a feeling of powerlessness in the face of life’s daily onslaught.

Life, as we all know, is challenging.

During our formative years, our well-meaning parents and educators try to prepare us for this …

Not by encouraging us to acknowledge our inner power and create the lives we truly want, but rather by teaching us how to survive the curveballs that life throws at us.

Those more advanced on the ‘highway of life’ warn us of the many ‘speed bumps’, ‘potholes’ and cul-de-sacs that we are likely to face.

They offer well-intended advice and strategies for coping with and minimising the impact of these obstacles.

Servants or masters?

We are, unwittingly, taught to embrace an external locus of control and adopt a reactive, coping approach to life.

In a sense, this means we become servants of the world around us, rather than masters of our own destiny.

Unsurprisingly then, when confronted with the question about what we want from life, our subconscious reasoning is that this depends on what life expects from us.

And, given life is so unpredictable, the answer is as clear as a muddy pond during a storm!

Delegating responsibility for life

A feeling of powerlessness to affect the outcome of events in our lives leads us to delegate responsibility for our lives to others, or to fate itself.

We look to others for advice and guidance, or to fate in the hope that some magical guiding light will suddenly appear to show us the way.

The life coach’s role

So, what should the role of a life coach be when presented with a client who is confused and claims to have no idea about what he or she wants from life?

An inexperienced life coach may be tempted to try and act as a guiding light for their client by leading them along a path that they think is best for them.

Although well-intentioned, such an approach is misguided and ineffective, as it simply reinforces in the client the notion that “The answer lies out there.”

On the other hand, an experienced coach will know that the best approach is to employ techniques that help the client to develop a closer, more trusting connection with his or her inner voice.

This transformation will take some time to achieve, but ultimately, the client will reclaim their internal locus of control.

The magic happens

Once one’s inner power is recognised and acknowledged, it can be harnessed … 

And that’s when the magic starts to happen. 

The fog of confusion lifts and the feeling of lack of direction subsides. 

In its place, a crystal clear vision of a beautiful future materialises, and the direction to take to achieve it is brightly illuminated.