Life Coaching: Widely Misunderstood and Often Underestimated

What's in a name?

When it comes to life coaching, everything ... and nothing really. 

On the face of it, the term "life coaching" would seem to say it all but think about it more deeply and you'll appreciate that one's interpretation of what it means is wide open to misunderstanding. 

And that, in turn, has resulted in a proliferation of superficial courses that claim to turn people into certified life coaches in a matter of weeks – doing little to help promote its value and importance among sceptics.

Nevertheless, life coaching when practised by properly trained and equipped professionals is nothing short of life-transforming in its effect. The 'real thing' deserves to be celebrated and given the publicity it deserves for helping change our world for the better.

Transcript

Life Coaching – Widely Misunderstood and Often Underestimated.

The final step in completing the New Insights certification process to become a life coach involves a self-reflection exercise.

One of the questions our aspirant coaches are asked to reflect on is how their perception of what life coaching is, and what life coaches do, has changed since starting out on the training programme.

Most admit that life coaching is significantly different – and far more in-depth – than they had originally understood it to be.

Of course, these are people who started out with an interest in pursuing life coaching as a career.

Not hard to imagine

So, it’s not hard to imagine how misinformed most members of the public are about what life coaching is, what life coaches do, and why life coaching is often underestimated.

I ascribe this to several factors, a key one being the widely varying quality of the training that so-called certified life coaches are exposed to and the varying impression that they may have on the market.  But that is a topic for another day.

Misunderstandings and misperceptions

The biggest misunderstanding would appear to be a view that life coaching is a form of counselling that aims to help people deal with their problems.

Another common misperception is that life coaching involves the giving of advice and guidance and that a life coach is someone you consult with about how best to live your life.

Many assume that having a life coach is like having a personal teacher or mentor; someone who has been where you want to be, done what you want to do. Life coaches make a  living from drawing on their superior experience and wisdom to impart advice to others..

Implicit in this assumption is that life coaches have mastered the art of living the ideal life, giving rise to the expectation that they should be role models for others wanting the same.

Setting the record straight

OK, let me set the record straight. None of the above is accurate.

A life coach is NOT a counsellor, consultant, adviser, agony aunt, teacher, or mentor. And life coaches most certainly don’t live ‘perfect’ lives (even if such a thing were to exist, which of course it doesn’t!)

By now, if you’re not that familiar with life coaching, you’re probably thinking:

“Oh, okay, that’s a surprise. So then, what exactly is life coaching?”

Answering with a question

I’ll start my answer with a question:

“Who is the true authority when it comes to your life?”

In other words, who knows best who you are at heart, who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have and experience as a result?

Drum roll, please …

That’s right – YOU, of course!

You are the only one who permanently lives with the unique mind and body, thoughts, feelings, and experiences that you have been blessed with.

At the heart of effective life coaching

Any good life coach understands that the only one who knows with any certainty what the best direction and course of action is for you to take in your life, is you.

I repeat: You know best what is best for you!

This is a principle that goes to the heart of effective life coaching.

If not guidance then what?

“That’s all very well and good,” you may be thinking, “but a great many people nowadays feel confused and simply don’t know what direction to take, or what is best for them. If life coaching is not about giving guidance, then of what value is it to them?”

The answer is that life coaching can show them how to reconnect with – and harness – their powerful inner beings and thereby become self-guiding!

Woo woo land

In my experience, it is at this point of the discussion where those who harbour scepticism about life coaching, are likely to throw their hands up in the air and start making dismissive  “Woo, woo” noises.

Further explanation is needed.

If every person had a clear and conscious knowledge of what was best for them, along with ready access to the tools required to help them take decisive action to bring this about, life coaching would be unnecessary and irrelevant.

Unfortunately, though, we live in a fast-paced, unrelenting, and unforgiving world where many – perhaps most – people live reactively, just trying to survive or at least cope with what an unpredictable life chooses to throw at them.

Conditioned thinking

Such people are conditioned into thinking, “That’s just the way life is.” Self-introspection feels like a luxury they don’t have time for and that talk of connecting with one’s all-knowing ‘inner being’ and ‘inner voice’ is just fuzzy, fluffy, impractical stuff!

Ironically, this explains why, in today’s world, feelings of confusion, anxiety, procrastination, and lack of direction are so common … and levels are increasing so rapidly.

Sad though that may be, my fellow practitioners will appreciate that it is fertile ground for life coaching and life coaches, who specialise in revealing the trap that we so easily fall into.

What life coaching is about

Life coaching is about helping people to get to know who they really are; helping them to reach within, access their inner beings and unleash their inner power.

Life coaching invites and encourages people to leave their protective, yet restrictive shells – in a manner of speaking – and embrace their true magnificence!

Sceptics may be raising their eyebrows wondering exactly how this heady state is achieved.

No magic wand

There’s certainly no magic wand. This is a journey that requires hard work and effort but one that is literally life-transforming.

To be effective, the life coaching process requires the creation of a trusting, caring and supportive relationship between coach and client.

In that safe space, the coach works with the client to develop and grow their self-awareness, self-confidence and self-appreciation, by imparting various insights, tools and techniques, and encouraging various practical exercises that will help them.

A process of personal transformation

At New Insights, we have developed a unique and proprietary  coaching model that we refer to using the acronym (no surprises here) called INSIGHTS!

The letters of this acronym describe each of the key elements of the process of personal transformation that New Insights trained coaches guide their clients through.

Such life coaching takes the client on an exciting and eye-opening journey towards self understanding. Ultimately, the client will arrive at the point where they know, with great clarity, what their purpose is.

At that stage the client is motivated to redesign their life to align with that purpose and begin to live proactively, taking firm control over the direction in which they wish their life to move and designing strategies to deal with the inevitable bumps in the road.

Finding the hidden door

As a client once said so eloquently, on completing the process: 

“This is like finding a door that has been hidden from sight for many years, and then opening it to reveal a world that is much clearer and brighter. By stepping through that door you start a new life with greater meaning, fulfilment, joy and happiness.”